


I Know Inside Where You'll Lead Me

by Lady_Amarant



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Alvin the Relationship Counselor, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 20:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2442371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Amarant/pseuds/Lady_Amarant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alvin just wanted to help Jude out. Not to hear about all of this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know Inside Where You'll Lead Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is partly something very personal to me... and partly me wanting to troll the daylights out of Alvin. Because he never asked for this.

With how many fractured dimensions they’ve gone to, they should have started to blur together. Each one shouldn’t have stuck out clearly in Alvin’s mind, each story crystal in his memory as lives they had ended with one strike of a lance. They were doing it to save the prime dimension, shouldn’t that have offset it? But no matter how much he told himself that, no matter how much he tried to convince himself he was finally doing the right thing, he couldn’t help but remember everything.

And now another fractured dimension had been found near Leronde. A new dimension where things had gone differently, and now they had to end the lives of those who lived there. That meant everyone would have to decide if they were going with Ludger this time or not. They all wanted to go, to help out, but at the same time, the destruction of whole worlds had started to wear on everyone else too. Alvin could see Jude shift in his peripheral vision, catching one wrist with his opposite hand. “Count me in,” he told Ludger almost distractedly. “It’s my hometown. I need to be there.”

The words made Leia frown in a way Alvin couldn’t understand. “Then I’ll come with you too!” she declared, pulling her arm up enthusiastically. “And... I’d like to see what could have been too.”

Jude shot her an irritated glare which just made him even more confused. Normally, that kind of thing wouldn’t have even ruffled him, but right now? Something about it being Leronde must have really gotten to Jude. “What the hell,” Alvin said, shrugging. He was already there, and someone had to watch the kids. “I’ll go too.” He ignored the venomous glare from Jude as Ludger nodded. What got Jude all riled up, anyway? Leia leaned close as the fractured Leronde slid in over the prime, her face worried as she spoke to him in low tones. Jude’s eyes snapped to her face, and it hit Alvin just how pale he was. Kid was sick, maybe? Damn it, he should have made Jude stay behind. If he was sick, he’d just get hurt against whatever they’d have to fight.

”I wish you’d stop worrying about that,” Jude finally told Leia, his voice just loud enough for Alvin and Ludger to hear. “Look, let’s just find the catalyst.”

Two choices warred obviously on Ludger’s face before he finally looked at Jude. “Should we split up?”

Taking the option not to comment on it. It made the kid relax a little, and tap a finger against his temple. “We’d definitely cover more ground that way. Ludger, I can go with you if Leia-”

”I should go with you, Jude.” Leia’s words were strong as she turned to him, hands on her hips. “Alvin and Ludger will be fine alone, and-”

”Damn it, Leia!” The uncharacteristic outburst made both Ludger and Alvin jump a little as Jude’s hands caught into fists. “Why won’t you let this go? Ever since we were kids, and-” He made an irritated noise in the back of his throat as he turned away. “I’m going to find something that doesn’t fit.” With those words, he stormed away. Leia followed after a beat, worry in every part of her.

Which left Alvin looking at Ludger, noting he wore a similarly confused look on his face. “Yeah, I don’t know either.” He shrugged, then looked back over where Jude had stormed off to. What was that all about? It didn’t seem they were going to get an answer any time soon, so they would have to search for the catalyst for the time being.

It ended up being a lot harder than they thought. While there were differences, Leronde looking a lot poorer than Alvin remembered being the big one, no one seemed to react to them in a way that nudged them to where the catalyst could be. Nothing new in Leronde that made everyone enthralled... though he did notice people giving him and Ludger the side-eye. They did probably look strange compared to them, Alvin realized with no little amusement.

But nothing responded to Ludger. Well, there had been one place they hadn’t checked yet, that Alvin wasn’t looking forward to. He had no idea if he’d even be there, if the schism had even formed or was even still there, but the clinic still existed and they still had to check to see if the Mathis family was home.

Alvin found himself hoping Derrick had decided to go on a trip.

Leia’s bright yellow jacket caught his eye as they came within sight of the clinic. With a wince, Alvin noticed so did Derrick, and Jude. And Jude’s father did not look very happy. Each word made Jude shrink a little more, until he paused to draw breath and Leia took her chance, her voice ringing through the air. ”You can’t force your child to be what you want him to be, Dr. Mathis!”

Something in the sentence revived Derrick as he turned back to Jude. He opened his mouth, then stopped as he noticed Alvin and Ludger. While he wouldn’t know Ludger - he had been on the other side of the schism - the Elympios fashion still came through. Alvin, on the other hand, he knew on sight. “Is it his influence?” he asked as they came closer, his voice surprisingly hard.

”N-no! Dad, I-” Jude’s voice, which had been so strong, sounded almost broken now. Something about the interaction hit him hard, and Alvin found himself eyeing Derrick as Ludger came close enough to activate a catalyst. If he started turning black, he would have gladly beaten Dr. Mathis down and let Ludger stab him. Whatever this was, it was unacceptable. No one should have to deal with this from their parents.

”Get changed and come help,” Derrick shot at him, glaring at Alvin. “And you. Stay away from here.” He turned back to enter the clinic, leaving Jude to look down at the ground, all earlier anger gone under his father’s displeasure. Whatever it was for. Leia looked at the both of them, then spoke softly to Jude, causing him to shake his head.

”He’s not the catalyst, is he?” Jude asked quietly, turned slightly to Ludger. He looked back down at the ground when Ludger shook his head, something in the line of his shoulders breaking. “We should- we should go.”

Ludger looked up at the clinic, his face set in sympathetic lines. “Yeah.” There really wasn’t much to say otherwise, as bringing it up again would just make Jude feel worse. And they still needed to find the catalyst. As they turned to leave, the sound of someone coming close to the clinic sounded behind them

“Oh!” a low female voice said, strangely familiar yet not. “Is something wrong? Are they not in?”

Well, Alvin had always related well to women, so as he turned he was already speaking. “Nah, we were just looking... around.” Hopefully she wouldn’t have noticed the falter in his voice because it wasn’t often he came face to face with an obviously female version of their very own Jude Mathis. She creepily had his face almost exactly, hair long enough to pull back into a small ponytail, and medical scrubs. Alvin looked over at Jude quickly, noticing his posture turned away from her, looking down.

She started to walk by, then paused. Jude’s entire body tensed as she walked past him, stopping in front of Leia. “When did you get back?” she asked, delight in every part of her tone. “It’s been forever, Leia! And look at you! You’re walking, and you’re wearing big city clothes. Fennmont must have done a lot for you over these years.” Female Jude smiled as Leia returned it weakly, laughing a little.

”Y-yeah, Fennmont helped a lot.” Her face fell slightly as it looked like everything made sense to her. “Hey... is everything okay?”

”Hm?” She stopped, then looked back at the clinic before meeting Leia’s gaze again. “Well, I... yeah. I missed you, but I’m glad you’re back now.”

It didn’t escape Alvin’s notice that Leia winced a little, and the female Jude looked sad when she had turned to the clinic. Something had happened when Leia left, something she could have made better. Shit, the catalyst better not be the fractured version of Leia. From what he could tell so far, she couldn’t walk now, so stabbing her would just be nasty. Jude’s fractured counterpart shook her head, and smiled at everyone, her eyes lingering a little on Ludger. “I’m busy right now, so I can’t show you around. Hey, Leia, maybe you can take them by the inn? I know your parents will be happy to see you! And they have this dish they’ve always wanted you to try.”

Leia frowned slightly at that. “What dish? I don’t remember...”

The girl Jude laughed a little, finger to her cheek and it was so like his Jude that Alvin shot another look at him. He was moving away ever so slightly, hand catching his wrist in discomfort as they remained around her. Well, being around a female counterpart must be weird, and Jude had been uncomfortable all day, especially after what happened with the fractured version of his dad. “It’s something they made to remind them of you. It’s all your favorite things in one.” She winced slightly. “It’s not... really all that good, but they’ve really wanted you to try it. They serve it to everyone in memory of you.”

”Oh.” Leia winced with her. “So... oh. It got out, didn’t it. That they’re serving bad food, so no one’s coming.”

”Yeah... But it’s okay. They really miss you.” She looked behind her, her eyes widening. “Crap, I need to go. It was nice seeing you again!” Jude’s female counterpart waved as she left, leaving them alone.

When no one seemed they wanted to talk, especially not Jude or Leia, Alvin raised his arms in a shrug. “Think that dish is the catalyst?”

”Maybe.” Leia turned her head to Jude, her gaze sad and understanding “I’ll stay here with Jude. It’ll be weird if my mom and dad see us.”

”Good thinking.” Alvin turned to Ludger, and nodded. It was a little underwhelming, really. A food dish, really? But if it really changed this much, then it had to be it. Alvin had been ready to fight something, really get his blood pumping, but all he could do was watch Ludger stab his lance into what looked like a huge mish-mash of a meal, pulling out the black knot of gears and watching it shatter. The world splintered around them, then fell as the prime dimension fit back around them. A dimension where Derrick was an ass, yes, but not one that yelled at Jude like that.

It was interesting, though. He would have been sure that Jude would have been the catalyst. Guess having Jude be a woman instead of a guy wasn’t enough of a difference. Alvin watched Leia and Jude come into view, thinking. It had hit him hard to meet a girl version of himself. There was something there, he just knew it, but... at the same time, it was something he had a feeling Jude probably didn’t want others to know. Given how everything about him looked like a kicked puppy, now probably wasn’t a good time to follow that line of thought.

Would any time really be a good time? Maybe he should lean on Leia a bit to figure it out instead. Or not, that might be the asshole thing to do and Alvin was really trying _not_ to do the asshole thing anymore.

He really wanted to help the kid, though, somehow. And by the way Ludger went over to Jude, he figured he wasn’t the only one.


End file.
